its 2013!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow I haven't updated since April 2012; which is mere 8 months ago, reading my posts then, it difficult to comprehend how my life has changed so dramatically.

I considered starting a new blog because I have entered a totally new phase in my life, and some of my previous posts are shameful to say the least, considering my new found status, but hey what the hell, that was me at one point (Kanye Shrug). 

So what been happening ? well so much has changed so I will need to blog about each one separately, but in a nutshell : 

I have moved !!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes I am out of dreary England and off to warmer shores....in a new job. 

I am now officially a Mrs  - Yes I know Shock Horror, less than a year ago I was having a sex crisis trying to sort out some constant c**** whilst still being hung up on my ex, and facing the fact that I would be taking up my seat on the shelf next to all the other unmarried 25yr olds (yes I know sounds kind of ridiculous but according to my mama your on the shelf at 25). Well I am officially a Mrs, infact a few months in, ( I am almost a pro). How I got married ? How I met him ? all deserve their own blog posts, so will be posting those shortly. Main thing is I am happily married and loving it; having been in a long term relationship ( 8 years, and no I'm not married to him) I always felt like whats the point of marriage, you still feel the same, just your tied together legally, Well no Hunny, I was completely wrong, not trying to gloat but being married just does something for you, its hard to explain, you just feel settled at peace, every time I look at him my inner voice screams "Hell yeah the search is over!" hahaha just kidding, no but seriously it does something to you. 

We are expecting, well it early days, and I know your supposed to wait till the three month mark, but I'm just excited and I need to talk about it, so in about 7 months time ( By Gods Grace) I will receive another title "Mummy".

Will be posting with more consistency from now on, ( yes I have said this before but this time I am really serious)

Mid life crisis in my Twenties ????

So I was speaking to a guy today who pointed out something to me, that I always start things and never finish and I am literally all over the place, I want one thing today and another tomorrow (err excuse me ???? ) of course I went off on a rant to him, about I had simply not found my calling in life blah blah.

However now I have calmed down, sitting back and actually thinking about, it is definitely kind of true ..... I mean have two degrees in completely opposite disciplines, I have not held down permanent employment (well I just thought that those jobs are mediocre and not worthy of my time. * shrugs*). In the last month I have contemplated travelling to Canada, The Philippines, Mexico, Milan , Los Angeles, Dubai and Malaysia.  I have been trying to lose 10kg for the last three months, and my diet was supposed to start on the 19^th January.... its now 1^st April 2012.

So thinking about it, I clearly have a problem, with committing to things ( although I am in a committed relationship with my 18 Inch Brazilian).   I am the only one who feels like this ? am I having a mid twenties crisis... I mean I know what I want to do ( well kind of) just scared to go out there and get it.....

So why am I telling you all this ????? Well obviously I started this blog last year June and this is my fourth blog post..... again another sign of my non-committal attitude.

So now on 1^st April 2012 I pledge to :

1. Put up at least three blog posts per week ( I was going to say four but let’s take baby steps )
2. I will start going jogging/gym every other day 
3. I will make a decision on where I want to move to by the end of this month
4. I have officially decided to follow my dreams (sounds cliché I know) I started last year, but kind of stalled ( due to fear of failure)  but I am going to actively work on it.
5. Finally I am going to allow myself to be open to having relationships, dating, basically guys in general.... since my Ex I have literally closed all of that off and entered a I HATE ALL MEN phase, however it’s time to get out of it ( besides I will be on the shelf very soon, according to my mum once you hit 25 it’s all downhill from there ) 

 I think that’s it for now ... but I will update accordingly.        

Sex on a Tap

Okay I'm back, I haven't updated In ages, my blogging will still be pretty sporadic ( I seem to remember to blog when I'm suffering from insomnia, it's currently 2am and I have work in the morning) but I will try to be more consistent.

Anyways, I ended a eight year relationship, my  Ex ( I usually call him the devils son, but I am in a good mood ), well he cheated on me several times during our relationship. I met him when I was 16, fell in love and thought that was it, I had met my soulmate and BOOOM I would get married and live happily ever after ....., little did I know he would deal with me before I would finally gain the courage to dump him. During the course of our relationhsip, he managed to cheat on me for two years with another girl I forgave him  (apparently he was just sleeping with her .. but for two years ??? some peoples marriages dont last that long). Then I randomly found out he already  had a kid ( well not randomly I was going through his email, saw some email about how he was refusing to contact his son), Then I found out he cheated again, we broke up for six months ( At that point I had convinced myself that cheating was just sex, no biggie, he could do that with anyone)... then the final straw last year I saw pictures on his laptop of him having sex with one of his work colleagues ( a job which I helped him get), that was the final straw.

Since then  I have been trying to work on finding myself (*rolls eyes* not sure if I believe that but it sounds good).  So I'm newly single, and quite frankly I don't know what to do with myself coupled with the fact that I now officially despise men ( on an emotional level may I add, as I still need some .... once in a while)

So I'm wondering what people do for their daily/weekly/monthly fix? Initially I was going back to my ex for a monthly dose, which was literally the stupidest idea ever (especially since I'm still in love with him), now I have smartened up, I can't do that anymore.

Considering I have been out of the dating game for so long, I really don't know where to start; and the thing is  quite frankly I’m not interested in "dating", I just want a quick shag, and that’s it. But is it just me or does everyone in London seem to know each other, and I don't want to be known as the local slut, so how does one approach a guy? I mean I'm not whore, I just have needs.

And then there is the whole issue of only having been with the same guy for so long, can I even sleep with someone else ? I feel like my P**** is now moulded to the shape of his c***, but I need too get that jerk out of my system.

Jeez how do people cope with break-ups, no sex on a tap has got to be the worst part (just kidding).

Just read this back ... I sound like a horny  bitch  ( well I do really need some)

Mr Right v Mr Manageable

Firstly it annoys me that when women get together they spend half their time talking about men (or is it just my friends), its literally a bitching session, which consists of either my man is no good, I need a good man, or there are no good men (*rolls eyes*).... WHY!!!!!!!!!!
What is happening to the world, some of the stuff I hear is totally outrageous ( or is it just the people I know), what happened to the good old fashion days, were people got married, had kids and stayed together forever (till death do us part doesn't seem to mean anything these days ), so what’s the reason for this rant ? well simply because I know too many people with dysfunctional relationships, now I hope I do not offend anyone, but I am traditionalist(possibly due to my strict Nigerian upbringing), so I am not really into the new modern era of dating, people are sleeping together for fun and having kids everywhere, I mean like seriously ?
The specific reason for this rant is due to me recently meeting a girl (she is soo lovely) who is currently in a relationship with a man who lives with his "ex", who is currently pregnant with their second child. According to this man, the only reason he is living with his "ex", is because she is pregnant blah blah, but apparently this "ex" knows about his new girlfriend (my friend) and just requests that the man does not bring the new girl over whilst she is there.
Now when my dear friend was telling me about her relationship, and how she is soo happy blah blah, I was totally confused, because to me it just seems like the guy is either still in a relationship with his ex, possibly even married to her (am I too judgmental???). The whole story just does not make sense to me; I mean who does that seriously.
So this brings me to my question, why are there so many dysfunctional relationships, why do women seem to be settling? I mean I know that we as women outnumber men, and with gay relationships the pool is even smaller but WHY?
My mum always says there are very few good men, and women should stop looking for Mr Right and look for Mr Manageable, but I just can’t get my head round it. I mean for the general female population are our standards too high ?  ... I just want a guy who loves and respects me, who is financially secure (notice I didn’t say rich), who is over 6ft, relatively good looking (beauty is in the eye of the beholder), good family background ( no one wants crazy in-laws), educated ( I mean I have two degrees), Christian, preferably Igbo (I’m not a tribalist)
I have always thought that women are partly responsible for the poor quality of men we currently see in today's society, since half of the time women let men get away with so much crap (myself included), and it becomes a vicious cycle. I genuinely believe that if every woman walked out, and severed all ties when a man cheated or exhibited some ridiculous behaviour, maybe then the guy would be too afraid to do it again and change his ways for the next girl (wishful thinking maybe?).
So what do you guys think? Should we be looking for Mr Manageable instead of Mr Right?

Welcome

So its 2.06am on 17th June 2011, I cant sleep ( this is an ongoing issue for me) and I have randomly decided to start a blog ( well that’s not exactly true, its been on my mind for quite some time now ) due to my somewhat limited writing skills ( I got a B in GCSE English *bows head in shame*), I am warning readers now ( well that is if there are any), my grammar is not perfect, and my entries may not be the intelligent and witty sort that you are used too, however I will try my best.

So what is this blog about? To be honest I don’t know, I can’t even guarantee there will be regular updates, I guess its just  literally random musings, about a twenty something year old experiences, most likely to be about relationships because that’s all I seem to talk about these days ....

The blog is anonymous of course because I want the freedom to talk about anything..... it will be an honest account of my interactions with the crazy world we live in.